Reform
by monkeyjade
Summary: Naruto grew up around the crudest of people, but it isn't until he's forced into a delinquent program his senior year of high school that he realizes the worst kind of temes are the "well-mannered" ones. Being good never felt so bad - SasuNaru AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything Naruto but if I did, oh what fun I would have with SasuNaru.

**Warnings**: Language, sexual situations

**Pairings: **SasuNaru

**Author's Note**: First story on this site, enjoy and feedback is appreciated

**Chapter 1**

Running out of options was something the blonde rarely encountered. But damn it all, if he wasn't making this difficult! Giving one last ditch effort, he kneeled in front of the desk and whimpered.

Shikamaru let out a heavy sigh, looking boredly up into his friend's eyes. The boy was making the puppy-dog look, clearly desperate for the other's help.

"No."

Help the jackass was refusing to provide.

"Ah, come on man!" Naruto hoisted himself up onto the desk, grabbing the boy's shoulders and shaking him vigorously. "Please, Shikamaru, please! I don't wanna go! I don't wanna do it!!"

"Do what?" a voice interjected.

The two looked over and peered at the interruption. Kiba stood a foot or so away, arms crossed, observing them with a hint of curiosity. Usually Naruto would be happy for his besty's appearance, but there was a reason he went to Shikamaru instead this time. Kiba was notorious for degrading people; any chance he got, he'd laugh right in your face.

"Naruto's mad because he's going into a reform program," Shikamaru announced.

"WHAT? Dude, are you serious?" Kiba gave his friend an incredulous look.

Naruto released Shikamaru and promptly focused his energy on the new brunette, "NO! It's some kind of retarded delinquent program. Fucking Kakashi is _making_ me do it!"

"Sure, sure," Kiba waved him off, failing to hide his delight. "So what's the deal? You gotta go to some kind of institution now?"

"NO!" Naruto twitched at the obvious teasing. He _hated_ being teased.

"Who's going to an institution?" Chouji had sauntered up, munching on a bag of chips and eager to join in.

"No one!"

"But I thought you said-,"

"Naruto is," Kiba grinned. "It's for retarded delinquents."

"IT IS NOT!"

"Eh, how'd you get into that?"

"I'M NOT!"

"But-,"

"LOOK!" Naruto folded his arms, shooting the others an indignant glare. "All I know is that Kakashi said because of my grades and trips to the dean's, that he had no choice but to put me into the program. Key words: _no choice._ It's like extended community service is all."

"Then what are you asking for help from Shika for?"

"Becauuuuuuuuse, he's, like, _super _smart! He could make up some excuse for me to skip today!"

This earned him a snort. "Nice, dumbass, wait until the day of to try and do something."

"Oh SHUT UP!"

It was at that moment the bell rang and the teacher entered. As they retreated to their assigned seats, Chouji seemed satisfied with the explanation, but Kiba continued to snicker. He'd take care of that later.

Right now he had other things to worry about.

Like _Time for Teens_.

It was basically some kind of juvenile detention. Kakashi, the school councilor, had called him into his office last week and informed him that due to his academic and personal fallbacks he was being placed in a "reach-out" program to help knock that habit out of him.

Good fucking luck.

They hadn't put him in anything like this and now, during his _last year of high school_, they gathered together and said to themselves, "Oh, hey, that Uzumaki kid is about ready to graduate. He should have problems deep-rooted in him by now; let's celebrate by taking 3 hours a week and making him study harder at a different location! Whoopee!!!"

For God's sake, what help did he need? He had it **made** in high school! He was popular, well-liked (because God knows those don't coincide), and drop-dead gorgeous. With thick, spiked blonde hair and a tanned muscular body combined with his blessed face, he was easily one of, if not _the_, most desired males in Konoha.

Sure, he wasn't dating, but why worry about that? Just the knowledge anyone would date him was a good enough excuse to avoid that headache. Besides, most of his time was spent on his athleticism; he was an asset in both football and basketball, though not a captain in either.

But that didn't bother him.

Because he knew he could accomplish anything he really wanted.

He was Uzumaki Naruto after all.

So when the teacher called on him and reprimanded him for being unprepared, that's what he told himself. Because the teacher was an ass. And he didn't listen to assholes.

The first four classes passed rather quickly, ending with PE and leading into Naruto's favorite hour, lunch. He quickly found his friends taking up one of the round tables and plopped down next to Chouji, already half way through his own meal. He glanced around the hall, spotting Shikamaru and Kiba getting their lunches but realized one of his friends was still missing.

He turned to Chouji, "Ne, where's Gaara at?"

His friend only shrugged, not once looking up from stuffing his face. Naruto figured that was all he'd be getting from the muncher and unwrapped his own food. He hadn't even sunk his teeth into his sandwich before a cruel hand whapped him up side his head. The senior lurched forward, gracefully plastering his face into his meal. He could hear Chouji laughing and slowly lifted his head, his sandwich sticking to his face until he was almost fully erect, then choosing to fall into his lap, spilling everywhere.

_Someone was going to die._

"Yo, Naruto!" said boy slowly turned, radiating murder, and locked eyes with none other than Hatake Kakashi. The man's eye gleamed. That's right, **eye**. He had some kind of bandage on his face to cover what he claims was an injury caused by a 15 foot anaconda. What_ever_.

"Kakashi," growled Naruto. "What the hell was that for?"

"Silly boy, I told you last week: you need to spend lunch in my office today so we can get started. ASAP. It's lunch time. Now go grab your books and meet me in my office," before the blonde could pummel the man, he was gone like a puff of smoke.

"God….DAMN IT! I'll kick his ass!" Naruto didn't even bother picking up the remnants of his food as he stormed past his friends and out of the cafeteria. Plotting murder the whole way down, he quickly made his way into the locker room where'd he'd left his back pack, for the sooner he reached the councilor, the sooner he could relieve his lust for murder.

He had just found his locker and pulled out his stuff when he heard a low moan coming from the shower area. It was at that moment he realized the water running. He was about to pass it off as someone just relaxing when he heard the moan again, this time accompanied by a low growl.

Now he was curious.

Ever so slowly, the boy crept around into the public showers and immediately caught sight of two sets of pale legs sticking out from behind one of the separation walls, hot steam rising all around. Always the inquisitive one, the whiskered teen couldn't help but inch over just a bit to see who the two were.

Needless to say, he wasn't the least surprised by what he saw.

There he lay, in all his naked glory, red hair drenched and toned back arched as he thrusted into the body beneath him. Gaara had obviously made a new friend, which would explain why Naruto hadn't seen him at all today. Gaara, the most masculine gay he'd ever met, was weirdly loyal for his type. He'd switch off a guy 3 times a month yet always waited until the relationship was officially ended to move on. He used to fish from the upperclassmen but now that they were seniors and he'd already been through their class, he started hunting outside school grounds. The boy below was no exception. It was definitely someone Naruto was sure he'd _never_ seen.

Kids in the school usually had dark skin, tattoos or odd colored hair (or all three!) This guy had pale skin, even more so than Gaara's, with dark black hair and eyes. Naruto couldn't tell much beyond that due to the water. And Gaara.

He couldn't help himself as he let out a soft snort and leaned against the wall. "Enjoying yourself, Gaara?" he snickered. This was probably the ninth time he'd caught the red-head doing this; as he recalled, the previous encounter had been under the bleachers during a game.

The movement slowed but didn't stop as Gaara slowly turned to regard Naruto. But instead of him saying anything, his new boy toy glanced at the blonde, a smirk creasing his face.

"Yes, he is," he all but groaned. "Now leave."

That seemed to be good enough for Gaara, whose face remained impassive, as he turned his back on Naruto and increased his speed, the noises resuming at a higher volume. The Uzumaki scowled at the jerk but left nonetheless, not wanting to be around for the climactic finish.

-

Kakashi was patiently leaning in the back of his chair, nose buried in a bright orange book when Naruto entered. The student tossed his backpack on the floor and slumped into a chair, fixing the councilor with an angry glare. The silver haired man responded by lifting a large manila envelope from his desk and tossing it at the boy. Naruto caught it and opened the large packet, glowering at the numerous sheets inside.

"What's this supposed to be?"

"_That_ is all the information for the program."

"EHH?!" the boy gaped, "But there's, like, a gazillion pages in here!"

"Yes, well, that's mainly just background information on the program, success stories, helpful hints, requirements and a copy of the contract I had you sign last time."

"Huh? Contract?" Naruto blinked. "I didn't sign any contract for this!"

"Yes, you did. I just made you think it was your athletic contract for the year. Which reminds me," Kakashi reached into his drawer and pulled out a sheet of paper. "Here's your athletic contract. Sign here, please."

"What?! You bastard, you tricked me!"

"Well of course, I did. How else would I get you to comply? Now, do you have any complaints or shall I let you know what you'll be doing?"

Naruto clenched a caramel-colored jaw. "You bet I have some complaints! Like why the hell am I being forced to do this?! And why did you wait till my SENIOR year?!"

"Because, Naruto!"Kakashi sighed and moved to the front of the desk. "You've shown no improvement in the last three years of counseling and quite frankly, you're an odd case."

Naruto huffed.

"You have wonderful people skills, but you're constantly fighting. You're very honest and open, but always playing pranks on everyone dumb enough to fall for one."

"Like you?"

"_Any_way, you've just made no progress and seeing as it's your last year and I don't want you to repeat it or head out into the world with a less than reputable academic background, I decided to throw in a last ditch effort. Now, Naruto, you trust me, don't you?"

Said boy gaped. "_Seriously_?"

Kakashi was a bit surprised. "Of course, why?"

"Dude, are you even aware of how much you lie?"

"Oh, come now."

"You told me last week that you were late for our meeting because a four-legged piranha invaded your fruit basket."

"Five-legged. One leg was deformed, remember?"

"You're retarded."

"But seriously, Naruto," he stood. "When it comes down to it, do you or do you not trust my judgment?"

Naruto heaved a frustrated sigh. This guy could be so annoying. But when it came right down, he didn't know. He guessed… "Yeah. Kind of."

"Well, Naruto, I believe this program can help you as you prepare to face the world on your own. After this year, the state won't be held accountable for you. And this program has already made a difference around the world. Honestly. I read up on it and I would never suggest it to you if I thought it'd be a waste of time. OK?"

Naruto clicked his tongue, a sign Kakashi took as a 'fine'.

"Excellent! Now, head on up to the front desk and ask the receptionist for an address I handed her. It's for a private school not far from here. You'll be assigned a student from the honors program to help tutor you, so they'll explain the grounds for that over there. All you have to do is find the school and then find the councilor! Now off you go!" and with that, Kakashi was back behind the desk, doing what he does best.

"Enjoy your porn," Naruto growled as he closed the door behind him.

"Will do!"

* * *

The senior would be lying if he said he wasn't happy that being in the program let him skip out on his last 2 classes, even if it was to go to the private school for his next meeting.

All good things promptly stopped after that.

Apparently no students were allowed inside the school in street clothes unless during sanctioned events. The bitch at the reception desk nearly chomped his head off for it. So during the hour he had to sit and wait for whoever the hell was supposed to come get him, _come get him_, he had been snapped at to change into a proper uniform, been given one that didn't fit, been yelled at because it didn't fit, been given one that did, and then screeched at for not properly tying the tie.

_Oh. My. God._

About 15 minutes after the stupid wench left, a man finally came up to verify if he was Uzumaki Naruto. The guy had silver hair pulled back in a pony tail, wore glasses, and had on a rather bright looking outfit complete with a pale blue dress shirt and neon pink tie. He introduced himself as Kabuto, the afternoon receptionist.

"So, you're here for the _Time for Teens_ program?" he inquired.

"Uh, yeah… do you know where I go?"

The man gave an unusually pleasant smile, oddly contradicting the place he was standing in, chipper in his response, "Why certainly. You just follow that hall all the way to the end and take a left and keep going till you get to the third door on the right. Just walk right in!" he pointed to the designated hall and even wrote down the room number for the boy.

Uneasy from the shocking display of kindness, Naruto was only able to give an absent-minded nod before tottering off.

_Well, that was weird_.

But as it happens, all good things come to an end. Fate just wanted to disarm him for a moment, so he could be taken aback once again when the ugliness resumed. Not even a second after he stepped into the hall, the bell rang signaling the end of class. He, being a cursed soul in this hell hole, was passing a doorway during the shrill reminder and was immediately set upon by a mob of pressed suits and 40 pound backpacks.

He was pushed to and fro, smashed with boulders on straps and was ultimately squashed under the stampede. And as pleasant as it was to be crushed and bruised, Naruto wasn't entirely pissed at the freaks (who were _trying _to get to class on time). No. What pissed him off was that every single person thatran into _him_, every _single_ one – glared accusingly at him as if he was the one stomping over their feet and pushing _them_ into the walls.

"Mother – OW! Fu- OW!! Watch where the hell you're –GAHHH! going! OOMF! YOU JACKASS!!" the blonde wailed his fists and shoved through, yelling at anyone who was in hearing range.

One would think that walking from one end of a hall to the next would only take a few seconds, but with the globs of students forming a wall against him, it was taking him a few minutes that felt like a few hours that would scar him for a few years. He finally squeezed through the last of them, so far without incident, when fate decided to ruin him…again.

He got caught between two exceptionally large guys and their even bigger backpacks, right before the corner he needed to turn at. As he felt himself being pulled back with the two fatties, a wave of adrenaline and desperation welled up inside and he thrust out of the spot with all his might, rounding the corner with a jolt.

"HAHAHAWAHHHH!!!"

A jolt that collided with another jolt.

Naruto scrambled to his feet, rubbing his forehead in pain."OW! God damn it! Sor-," he was cut off by a folder 'thwapping' his face.

A very pissed jolt.

Sprawled disgracefully on the ground before him, surrounded by books and notebooks with papers falling out and jacket hanging off the shoulders, was a fuming brunette. He had pitch black hair, pale skin and black eyes. At least he thought they were black; the boy must've been seeing red, 'cause he could've sworn he saw it there too. He was practically seething. The glare he was sending him radiated such an intense heat of anger, Naruto needed to double-check to make sure he hadn't spontaneously combusted.

And suddenly he stopped and twitched as a though occurred to him. He finally had good reason to get into a fight with a snob and the reason was entirely _his_ fault! Bloody HELL! Figures he'd run over the only fucking guy in the school who didn't carry all his shit in a 10 gallon bag! Damn damn damn!

"Oi, idiot!"

Idiot returned his attention to the boy he'd slammed into, who was in the process of dusting himself off. He paused in his movement to send a glare the teen's way. "You knocked my books down. So pick them back up."

Idiot gaped. "Wha- NO! You pick them up!" Naruto only realized after the fact that it _was _his fault and out of courtesy he usually did pick up what he spilled. Still, his pride at stake and an opportunity for a brawl before him, he stubbornly held his ground and the two engaged in an intense staring contest.

The man he stood his ground against was not at all pleased about his decision and demonstrated it by mumbling a "Fine", bending over to pick up a thick paperback book, and introducing the cover to the side of Naruto's head with a loud THUNK.

The poor boy didn't even have time to react and fell to the ground, unable even to catch himself.

"There," declared the brunette. "I picked up my share, dobe. Now pick up the rest."

Naruto felt any guilt for knocking the boy down vanish as he met the other's condescending stare with one of indignation. He leapt to his feet, "Why you son of a bitch! THAT HURT!"

"No shit, Sherlock. Now imagine a 200 pound dumbass smashing into you at full speed because he can't navigate around a backpack."

"OK, _first_ of all," Naruto hissed, "I am _not_ 200 pounds! And second of all," he grabbed the other's collar for more emphasis, "It was **two** backpacks!"

The raven-haired boy smirked, "Well, for you, I can see how that might seem quite a feat."

"WHY YOU-,"

"Hey!" both stopped and turned to find a teacher glowering at them from across the hall. "No fighting in school! Now get to class, both of you! The bell rang 2 minutes ago!"

He waited for the boys to step back from each other before retreating back into his classroom. The two glared for a minute more before the pale teen broke contact. He let out a low growl before reaching down and picking up his belongings. Figuring it was the least he could do, Naruto sighed and joined him. He was able to grab one item before the rest were quickly jerked away into the preppie's arms. The blonde moved to snap at the boy when something incredible happened.

He was hit with a feeling of déjà vu. The other was fixing him with a familiar look of smugness, yes, but more than that; Naruto suddenly had a feeling that he could've sworn he'd seen his face somewhere. But that was impossible – this school and his school were two totally different leagues. This one was clean, filled with privileged kids and had a faint aroma of freesia (yes, he knew they smelled like!). His school was moldy, stuffed with degenerates and had so many strange smells that it would take a lifetime to separate this from that. Still, though…

The onyx-eyed man stood then, Naruto following suit, offering the notebook to him, still scrutinizing why he looked so familiar. As the other snatched the folder, he seemed to have noticed the odd look and hissed.

"What?" he snapped.

Naruto blinked, responding before he could stop himself, "Um, sorry, but…have we met somewhere before?"

Two eyes narrowed, as if to say 'WTF?' when suddenly a knowing look encompassed his face. He fixed the dobe with a smirk, lids half-lowered. "No," he made to turn, "But I've heard that line somewhere before."

Naruto fumed at the retreating back. "YOU-,"

"Hey! I told you to get to class!" _GAAAHHH! WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE INTERRUPTING ME!!!_ The boy could feel his blood vessels popping as he stalked down the hall. _Third fucking door on the mother fucking right._ He grasped the handle and turned back to the teacher who proceeded to upturn his nose and stalk back into the class.

"I fuckin' hate this place," he mumbled under his breath, yanking open the door to find himself standing… in a library? He glanced around at the shelves of books and tables scattered about the room.

To his left he spotted a small counter with an elderly women sitting behind a computer. He suppressed the stomp in his step as he made his way over, smiling as genuinely as possible. "Excuse me, my name is Uzumaki Naruto. I was told to come here for a meeting?"

The lady's face seemed to brighten at his announcement and he immediately extended her hand. "Oh, yes, Naruto, pleasure to meet you. Unfortunately you're a bit late (even though he was there for an hour and a half) so the principal had to leave to attend to other business. However, you were assigned a tutor and he's here if you'd like to go ahead and meet him?" Naruto was uplifted and nodded eagerly, elated that this old lady was here. The woman walked around the counter and motioned for him to follow her.

"Now, he'll be able to fill you in on any questions you may have," she whispered, leading him around the tables. "And you two'll be able to set up meeting times and what not. Principal Sarutobi OK'ed it, so you'll be able to make final decisions now and submit them when you're done. Does that sound good?"

"Sure does!" Naruto grinned.

The woman returned it with a smile. "Good. Oh, here he is." She stopped at a corner table with a single occupant bent over an open textbook, spiky black hair sticking out an odd shape.

The teen snickered. It looked like a duck's butt!

"Sasuke Uchiha?" The one identified as Uchiha looked up and all humor fled the blonde's tanned face. "This is your mentee, Naruto Uzumaki. Naruto, Sasuke."

Dark eyes seemed to flare up as they connected with cerulean blue. You could practically feel the sparks as each attempted to strike a small bolt of lightning through the other's head by sheer will power.

All of this was unnoticed by the librarian. "All right! Now that you two have met, I'll get my helper to bring you some copies of the mentee/mentor guidelines. Gab away, I'll leave you be!"

Neither acknowledged her departure, they just continued to imagine outside forces ripping the other to shreds. It was Sasuke who finally broke the silence.

"I cannot believe you're my mentee. Figures I'd get stuck with a retard."

"Teme!" Naruto fell into a seat opposite the Uchiha, flopping his limbs everywhere. "I don't know why I thought my tutor wasn't gonna be a bastard. After all, everyone in this place is a self-absorbed ass. Figured you'd be the same."

This seemed to kick him where it counts because the smug expression instantly flicked to one of utter disgust. "Don't _ever_ compare me with the rest of them. _They_ might actually befriend you. I, on the other hand, know better."

"…Bastard."

"Dumbass."

"Bitch."

"Fucker."

"Cock-,"

"Easy now. I'm not sure I wanna hear the end of that one," both looked up, startled, as a third party entered. It was another student with long black hair pulled into a loose braid, and freaky lookin' eyes even paler than his skin.

_What the hell? Is everyone a freakin' cracker here?_

"Neji," Sasuke nodded in acknowledgement.

"Hello, Sasuke. I was told you might need these," he tossed a small packet on the table and turned his focus to Naruto. "So this is your new mentee? Pity."

"What the fuck does that mean? I,"

"Let me finish," _Why won't anyone let ME finish?!_ "I simply meant it was a pity that Sasuke managed to alienate you so soon. Personally, I'm pleased to meet you. Neji Hyuuga," he extended his hand.

This time it was Naruto's turn to smirk in satisfaction, grateful for the immediate contradiction to the other's words. _Know better, do ya bastard? _He did a small victory dance in his head as he clasped the outstretched hand. "Naruto," he grinned.

"Naruto, eh? I see you've already earned the pet name of 'dumbass' from Sasuke."

"Figures it'd be a 'pet' name."

"Well you're not really one, are you?"

Sasuke sneered. "Yes, he is. Now go away."

**CLICK**

One simple phrase was all it took to have the wheels turning. He remembered where he'd seen that face! Naruto gasped, releasing the handshake and pointing an accusing finger at Sasuke.

"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT GAARA WAS PLOWING!!!"

The room stilled.

_TBC_

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **See Ch. 1

**Warnings: **Language, future sexual situations

**Author's Note**: So I just thought I'd give you fair warning that I go a little ape shit with italics and bold and stuff so here's a guide to help you understand some things if you care:

_Italics out of "…"_ : What're they're thinking right then

_Italics in "…"_: Something they're emphasizing

**Bold out of "…"**: Something **I'm** emphasizing

**Bold in "…"**: Something they're growling or using scary tone in

CAPS IN "…": They're speaking very loud/yelling

CAPS OUT OF "…": Just another means of expression

**Chapter 2**

"Ehehehe…sorry about, you know, yelling that out and stuff. You just _really_ looked like the guy," the murderous glare didn't falter. Since his little outburst the Uchiha had become something akin to what the blonde was sure nuclear radiation would feel like. Any sound that came from the room after his "proclamation" quickly died as the poisonous aura thickened and spread out of the boy. It was so intense that even without waiting to hear Sasuke comment on the statement (which he seemed very intent on), Neji made a hasty exit, leaving the dobe to fend for himself.

Naruto's hands scratched nervously at the back of his head. "So, yeah…am…am I forgiven?" the raven's eyes seemed to bleed into a red color. "Wow. That's really impressive. Do you, like, practice that or is it just a gift?"

Sasuke unclasped his hands from where they had been resting in front of his face and began messaging his temples. "1…2…3…4,"

"Look, you-,"

"It's _incredibly_ important that you let me get to 10," he paused, and began counting again.

Once he had finished, he slowly leaned back in his chair and placed his hands on the arms. He took a deep breath, exhaled and fixed his eyes on cerulean. "Go."

"I was just wondering-,"

"No. Stop. I can't listen to you anymore. It angers me."

"I said, like, 4-,"

"See, that's what I can't stand: that whine to your voice. And stop saying 'like' in every other sentence, it's unnecessary and obnoxious."

Naruto gaped. "Fine!" he snapped. "I'm _not_ sorry! And better yet, I'll do that shit every time we meet up! So there!"

"What? Whine? Or announce to the whole school you watch people have sex?"

"Wha- I. DO. NOT. I just walked in on them by accident."

"Sure."

"Listen, you shit head! I don't need this crap from you!" he lowered his voice after several hushes from across the room, but continued. "I don't even wanna fucking be here, bastard! I was fucking _forced_ here and I can gauran-damn-tee you that I'm not going to be putting up with your male-menstruating stuck-up self for the whole fucking year, so lay off, you…," he came to a slow halt when he realized that the bastard had a smug look on his face. "What?" he snapped.

The smirk expanded. "I was just thinking how much your vocabulary would shrink when you can't use all those foul words."

The blonde blinked, thoroughly confused. "Foul? OK, first of all, what the fuck is your deal, 'cause if I remember correctly you used plenty of 'foul' words when I met you in the hall. And second of all, what makes you think I'm gonna stop using them?"

Sasuke never lost that evil grin as he leaned across the table towards the discarded packet and, quickly opening it, tossed 2 sheets toward the other senior. "Firstly, it's 'going to', not 'gonna'. Secondly, the reason I _know_ you're going to start is because you signed up for this program. Key word being 'signed'. You are obligated to do anything this program demands from you and that includes behavior assessments after sessions."

Naruto, who during this time ignored the papers, quickly snatched them up at the words 'behavior assessments', his body numbing with a heavy dread. What the fuck was this program?!

As if reading his mind, the raven leaned back once more and in the most pompous tone he'd ever heard, practically shanked the blonde: "This program is not only after academic modification but attitude as well. It's for _reform_, in every sense of the word. Along with study groups, you are required to attend manner seminars, held primarily by me, and apply them daily. This includes lessons on proper introductions, eating habits, how to dress, proper appearance, speaking in both in-depth conversations and making small talk, and, my personal favorite, courting."

The prep-school student was surprised the jock's neck didn't break from the speed he snapped his head up. "C-c-courting?!"

"Societal, of course. And before your rudimentary excuse of a brain starts digging into those piles of filth stored in there, I say it's my favorite because the basics of what I must do for that session is read out loud and explain the guidelines for proper conduct when wooing the female sex and set you off to apply them."

A tan mouth gaped.

"And observe the entire time."

"WHAT THE FUCK! Do you, like, have this whole fucking thing memorized?!"

"Well, of course. It's a requirement on my part so procrastinating flakes like you don't take advantage of my lack of knowledge."

The next half hour went by fairly quickly, with Naruto only catching bits and pieces of what the Ice Princess was saying to him, far too busy plotting murderous revenge against that mother bastard he called his "counselor".

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You-you-you-you-you-you," Kakashi let out a heavy sigh as his blonde student bundled around his office, walking in circles and pushing furniture aside as he ran into them.

Apparently the meeting yesterday hadn't gone so well because for the 5 minutes the boy had been in the room, he hadn't been able to get more than one word out. Albeit, a good 200 times.

"You-you-you-you-you-you-you-,"

"Naruto, sentences, please. You're becoming annoying."

"YOU COCK SUCKING MOTHER BASTARD!!!!"

Well, that seemed to do it.

"YOU TOTALLY SET ME UP FOR THIS!!! YOU GAVE ME ALL THE PAPERS RIGHT OFF 'CAUSE YOU KNEW I WOULDN'T READ 'EM SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL ME EVERYTHING! DIDN'T YA?! **DIDN'T YA**?!?!"

"Now, Naruto,"

"REFORM! KAKASHI, REFORM!!! I GUESS THAT WHOLE MANNERS SHIT SLIPPED YOUR MIND, DIDN'T IT?! You know, it's bad enough I had to go there in the first place, but then to find out **everything** the mother fucking program entailed, IT WENT STRAIGHT TO GOD DAMNED MOTHER FUCKING NO-GOOD, SHIT-SMOTHERED HELL!"

"I would've told you everything, but then you wouldn't have gone. I didn't want you to get off to a bad start," the man's tone dripped with sincerity but the evil twinkle in his eye betrayed him.

"You're damn right I would've! Everybody in there acted all high and mighty, but they're no better than the people they look down on! I always thought secretaries were cool! I mean, yeah, the chick here can't really be considered a secretary 'cause she doesn't do anything, but she'll at least point you in the general direction of what you need and talk to ya sometimes! At least _she _doesn't judge anybody! And what right do secretaries have to judge anyway?! They have one of the saddest jobs in existence! I hardly dress nice for formals and stuff, but the second I walk through that door I'm shoved in starchy, pompous fabrics and yelled at 'cause the stupid whore can't **even take MY MEASUREMENTS RIGHT**!" he paused and inhaled long breaths, his shoulders shuddering with each exhale.

"Ah, come on, Naruto, surely it can't be bad as all-,"

"Oh, and you know what **really** irked me?!"

"They were mean to you?"

The blonde glared at him. "First of all, don't interrupt me! Second of all, YES! The Ice Princess who's in charge of 'tutoring' me, when I first met him, he talked exactly like me and used words I used, and then when we actually realized we were paired up for this stupid thing he started speaking like he'd never heard of 'swearing'! AND HE DID!"

"OK, Naruto. I think I understand."

"Do you? DO YOU?"

"Yes, and I know how much you're hating this, but let me say something concerning your situation. If I may," he added.

Naruto huffed, but sat in one of the open chairs. After all, when Kakashi _requested_ to speak, it usually held some kind of importance. Importance that never benefited Naruto.

"Fine. What?" he grumbled out.

"Your guardian put you up for this program."

Blink.

Blink.

**FUME**.

"Jiraiya did WHAT?"

"He called and told me in no uncertain terms that you were to be entered in this program, or else. He said that he knows your behavior is mostly due to his constant absence but he doesn't want you to be kicked out into the world as unprepared and, I quote, as 'uneducated in all things acceptable' as you are."

Naruto couldn't believe what he just heard. Yeah, okay, he was a bit rowdy and probably played more pranks than he should, but that was no reason to force this poison down his throat. And besides, that damn perv was worse than he was! Uneducated in all things acceptable?! At least he never purposely spied on women for porn ideas!

Seizing the opportunity of Naruto's silence, Kakashi stood and delivered the final blow. "He also told me that if you refuse or slack on this program, he'll send you to a boot camp."

A piercing feeling of dread made its way up the jock's spine. He could sense his fate forth coming.

"On a reality show."

Signed, stamped and sealed.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OHHOHOHOHEEHEE!!!...*snort* WAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Kiba, shut the FUCK UP!"

He should have kept his big mouth shut. He knew it was a mistake! Since he had informed his friends of what was to become of him over their senior year, Kiba hadn't stopped laughing, Chouji hadn't stopped patting him on the shoulder, and Shikamaru hadn't stopped smirking at him. He had to say that annoyed him the most.

He swatted Chouji's hand away for the 9th time and flumped down on his desk. "It's not funny," he growled.

Kiba tried to retort, but couldn't retain enough air.

"Actually, Naruto, it's pretty hilarious," commented Shikamaru.

"Ah, come on, Shika!" Naruto whined. "It's bad enough I have to do this against my will, I don't need you guys giving me grief about it and I swear to GOD, Chouji, if you pat my back one more time, I'll break off your hand and shove it down your throat!" the chubby fingers immediately fled the tan boy's back and retreated into a large bag of chips.

The blonde let out a hefty sigh. It was lunch time and they were fortunate enough to have the room to themselves as the rest of the class occupied themselves with activities. But _un_fortunately the quiet gave him plenty of time to fear the ending school day and the upcoming meeting with his mentor.

Bleh.

During the talk in the library yesterday they had decided (and by decided he meant the Ice Princess demanded) they bring their schedules tomorrow (today ) and go over meeting times for the next month.

The blonde frowned even further when he thought of how his schedule only consisted of a few hours of football so he'd be basically following the prick's schedule. He was pulled out of his thoughts by a firm grip on his arm.

"Damn it, Chouji, what did I just tell you ab-oh. Hey Gaara," the red-head nodded in a greeting before releasing Naruto and settling down beside him, chewing on the remnants of his lunch.

He gave a short greeting to the other three and Kiba was actually able to manage a 'hey' before he went back into his laughter (which had now become silent due to lack of air, thank God). Gaara raised a brow muscle(1).

"Why's he laughing?" he inquired.

Naruto's face instantly returned to the folds of his arms.

"Naruto has to do a reform program that's gonna make him learn manners," answered Chouji, licking the salt and grease from his fingers.

Gaara smirked. Damn it. "Manners, Naruto? You?"

Chouji responded again, "From table to courtship."

It was at this point Naruto heard a chuckle from his friend and turned his head to glare at him.

"Don't you _dare_ laugh! It's _your_ fault the meeting went tits up yesterday in the first place!" he pointed an enraged finger at him.

"Oh? How so?" the red-head challenged him.

"Because if I didn't walk in on you, I wouldn't have gotten confused!"

Now everyone raised an eyebrow.

"What? Dude, that makes absolutely no sense. Walk in on what?" Naruto mentally cheered that Kiba had finally stopped laughing, but booed when he realized he was just gonna make fun him again. Oh well. He may as well go for the gold.

"He was doing some guy in the showers yesterday and I thought it was the same guy who was assigned as my mentor."

Kiba's eyes widened and he leaned forward on his desk. "Was it?"

"No."

Gaara looked at Naruto, amused and…curious? "No, it wasn't. It was a junior from here, in fact. You know I would never waste my time on prep students. They yell too much," Naruto desperately tried to fight that image back. "What did you do before you figured it out?"

"Eh?"

"You always were one to blurt things out. So…what did you do?"

Whiskered cheeks turned beat red and the jock hid his face once more, mumbling into this arms.

"What was that?"

"I yelled it out in the library, OK?!"

Not able to confront the laughing faces of Gaara or Shikamaru, he settled for taking out his frustration by strangling Kiba.

"Oh. It's you."

"Yes," _bitch_ "It's me."

The secretary threw the clothes and snapped at him to change before proceeding to ignore him.

He retreated into the bathroom, silently cursing her, shoved his now-shed clothes into his bag and changed into the school's dress clothes. He had taken as long as possible walking from his school to here, but time likes to go faster when you're trying to avoid something. He groaned softly as the buttoned the stiff collar against his throat.

_God_._ I forgot how uncomfortable these damn things were_.

Once finished, he walked back out and cheered a little inside when he noticed the secretary was gone. All happiness quickly vanished when a familiar presence appeared behind him.

"What was I called down f…Oh. It's you." Not even five minutes had passed and he was ready to kill someone.

He turned and met the Ice Princess eye-to-eye, now knowing what to expect. Sasuke looked none too pleased to see him but sighed and motioned for him to follow none the less. They bypassed the library and entered a deserted hallway with no lockers. There were 6 doors, 3 on each side, and on closer inspection Naruto found that they all read 'Study Lounge'. Five were occupied by bookworms so they headed straight down to the only available one and entered.

The raven teen gently placed his bag on the table while Naruto tossed his and both sat down opposite each other.

And said nothing.

For a _while_.

When the awkwardness became too much, the blonde decided to break the silence. "Can I go?"

"No."

_Ah. It was worth a shot_.

"I know today we were going to hammer out the schedules but there's been a change."

Naruto looked quizzically at him. "OK, so what're we gonna-,"

" 'Going to'," he corrected.

The blonde growled. "What're we _gonna_ do?" _Psh. _Like he was gonna give in that easily.

Sasuke glared but continued. "The coordinator checked over both our schedules and designated meet times for us," he shifted and pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocked and flicked it at the boy.

Said boy unfolded it, glanced at it and stared back up at Sasuke. "So what's this mean?

"It means we start tomorrow."

If anyone brought it up later, Naruto would deny any and all accusations that he had pouted at that moment. But noticing the Uchiha didn't seem happy about either, he spoke again. "So what're we doin'?"

"The coordinator wants this program to be based on trust and understanding," the tan teen swore he heard '_which is impossible with you_' added. "So he wants every pair to do a Life Tour."

"A what?" Seriously, if this program got any more confusing Naruto's brain was gonna explode.

"A Life Tour. We're supposed to give each other a tour of our lives; where we go to school, live, eat hang out, etc., so that we become better accustomed to each other. He described it as a give and take sort of deal, but I believe you'll be more familiar with the term 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours'."

Naruto scoffed. "Oh, that's rich, bastard. Did you stay up all night writing that one?"

"Unlike you, _dobe_, it doesn't take me hours of careful planning to say something smart."

A tan jaw opened and closed, searching desperately for a clever enough retort.

It failed.

Sasuke reveled in the double-entendre of his comeback. For the first time since receiving the news of the activity his face broke out into a satisfied grin. Not wanting to crush his uplifted spirits, he decided to hold back a while and watch the idiot sputter a bit more before he would inform him that he was going to be forced to attend Naruto's school the next day.

_TBC_

(1) I know that by the time you finish this very long chapter and read this you'll forget what this was for, so here ya go: I placed it when I wrote Gaara raised a brow muscle (1) – the reason being I got sick of the phrase "non-existent brow". I know there's not many other ways of saying it, but I'm going to avoid it as much as possible.

**Please read and REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

By the way, I do small time skips between chapters so don't expect the next one to start where the previous leaves off. Just giving anyone who's skimming a heads up. If needed.


End file.
